For quite awhile I have been on a roll waking up early and composing eloquent prose for the blogosphere. But it is amazing how when you get out of a routine it no longer is a routine.

So here I sit 14 hours after I normally would have finished writing trying to put together a coherent thought.

Let’s see how I do.

Last installment of MLBB (that’s “My Life Behind Bars” for the acronym challenged)ended with my secret passion for competitive Rock Paper Scissors. I have decided that this competition is too much for me to take. All of the hard work, a lifetime of preparation, wrapping my head around the fact that paper beats rock(NEVER understood that)has led me to the realization that I need to take a more relaxed look at things and do them just because they make me happy and calm. This realization plus the following video have led me to believe that I should spend my non work time pursuing the art of correctly Darning a Sock.

Can you see the passion and dedication that this woman has for a long forgotten art? It gives me inspiration just watching. Halfway through this video I decided that I was not going to cut my toe nails for quite a long time just hoping that they would tear my socks, giving me a reason to sit and Darn them.

I wonder if Defeet’s are easily Darned?

This reminds me of an evening spent with one of the owners of Defeet, Phil Ligget, Paul Sherwen and a few other people that are better off not named. Let’s just say it ended with a certain high ranking UCI official questioning this decision…

Luckily he did not fine us 200 Swiss Francs.

OK. while I wait for my toenails to grow and render my socks Darnable I guess it’s time to discuss the goings on of the past weekend.

If your a regular reader (THANK YOU) you already know that Saturday the entire staff of velorambling.com was in attendance at Jorba Fest.

The earlier date helped Jorba out. Attendance was good. It was also good to have the Giant demo trailer in attendance. The “New Guy” is pretty cool. Heck he’ll even pump up your tires…

Just don’t call him the “New Guy” he’s got a witty reply.

The expected going’s on went on…

Grown Men raced 16 inch bikes…

New Prototype Full-suspension bikes were displayed…

Yes it’s rideable.

A VERY excited guy won a Brand New Giant STP…

Double D made me laugh until I snorted…

And one of the cooler things at Jorba Fest. They had a Human Vise. Pat is a cool guy that is into riding mountain bikes. I rode with him and the big freerider J-Lo two years ago. He can hold his own.

To look at him you would know that he is not a guy that you want to fight. You would probably have no idea that he can rip a phone book in half, and that is just the warm up for his show. Pat snaps hammers in half. Seriously.

Check the picture below. He is holding a huge marble ball (no jokes please) in his lap while he snaps a baseball bat over his head…

That’s not enough?… How about ripping a brand new pack of card’s in half while holding a 250 pound engine block on his forearms?…

I kid you not–he actually closes the show by snapping his hand in a bear trap. Yeah that’s right a BEAR TRAP! He shows it’s real by snapping it shut with a brand new dog bone straight out of the package. It shatters the dog bone! I mean shatters it. For once my camera actually cooperated and I caught this pic…

Check out the look on Pat’s face, and the girl in the red shirt behind him. That is “NO JOKE!”

Just to make it more wild he finishes with a bear trap on his hand and an engine block on the other…

You cant make this stuff up.

So this ended Saturday and then the real work started. Double D the “New Guy” and I started re-packing the trailer. This is like Tetris on Crack. “New Guy” has a system and if you follow it, the process goes relatively smooth. The guy’s threw me out when the process was 90% complete since I had a pressing engagement in the City of Brotherly Love, and because I was whining.

So into the Spruck and off to Philly I went. I got there late and put the finishing touches on getting ready for the Lemon Hill Fiesta. A late dinner, possibly some Adult Beverages, Shenanagin’s and then far too little sleep.

Lemon Hill is a blast on Philly Bike Race day. The majority of the local industry that is there gets together and just celebrates being part of the tribe. Most days we all posture to get a leg up. It seems that on this day we come together and remember that we do this because we like it. We also seem to remember that we like each other, have done business, and likely will do business together in the future.

You know it’s gonna be a good day when you are greeted like this…

And greeted with these…

Unlikely Bed Fellow’s?… NO not so much…

The Hill was packed…

Everyone surged forward because there was a bike race going on…

Saw some good Friends…

Saw some cool bikes…

Celebrated some Great bicycle racers…

Then Just like the skies greeted us they told us that we had our fill and that it was time to go home…

My Mom taught me to respect Mother Nature so I listened. Packed up the Spruck, and got off the Hill. Severe relaxing and laying still followed. That and a Burrito. And a beverage. And more Relaxinin.

Well I’m off to find some socks to Darn.